Noah Enteen, LMFT

How Social Media Can Actually be Good for Our Mental Health

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Whenever there is a discussion about social media and mental health, there is generally a negative association. Many studies now have pointed to individuals developing depression or anxiety as a result of time spent on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.

But is this a full picture?

There is actually another side to the coin that suggests social media can actually be good for some people’s mental health.

Social Media Keeps Us Connected to Those We Love

Currently, most of the country is prepared to go into lockdown again because of Covid-19. This pandemic has caused a lot of grief and stress for many people. But thanks to social media, we have all been able to stay connected with loved ones, share important information with community members, and stay apprised of the latest health findings. In times of stress, social media can actually be something that brings people together so we don’t feel so alone.

Social Media for Mental Health Support

Global pandemic aside, there are times in a person’s life when they may develop depression or feelings of anxiety. And many people who suffer from mental health issues feel as if they have no one in their immediate circle to turn to for support.

At these times, many people turn to the Internet to search for support and encouragement from the mental health community. In doing so, they receive the information as well as the comfort and guidance they need.

A Michigan State University study published in the Journal of Computer Mediated-Communication supports the theory that social media use might actually be beneficial to our mental health. In the study, researchers analyzed data from more than 13,000 relationships from adult participants. The data suggested that social media users were 63% less likely to experience mental health crises, including anxiety and depression.

Be a Mindful User

The study found that those people who use social media, even on a daily basis, to connect and share information, had positive mental health outcomes. Those who had an emotionally unhealthy connection to social media – as an example, those people who check their pages excessively out of fear of missing out, tend to have negative mental health outcomes.

In conclusion, it seems that the real key is to be a mindful social media user. Those that may have already developed an unhealthy social media habit that seems to have developed anxiety or depression may want to seek counseling to adjust their behavior.

If you would like to speak to someone about your social media use and how it is negatively affecting your mental health, please get in touch with me.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General

At Home Family Physical Fitness Ideas (during COVID-19 and beyond)

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As many families continue to shelter in place together, they are finding it challenging to beat the stress and stay in shape. Exercising as a family is one-way families can accomplish both of these goals! And the good news is, there are plenty of ways families can exercise without the need of going to a public gym.

Make Fitness a Game

Take a pack of regular playing cards and turn them into fitness cards. Hearts stand for crunches, clubs push-ups, diamonds for squats, and spades for jumping jacks (or any other exercises you may want to substitute). Have each player take turns selecting a card and doing the activity. So for instance, if someone draws the five of hearts, they need to do 5 crunches.

Go for a Bike Ride

Strap on your helmets, hop on your bikes and take the kids for a nice bike ride around the neighborhood. You can also decide to bike to the library or to the park for a picnic. Just be sure to pick a route that is safe and isn’t too much effort for your child.

Have a Dance Party!

Decorate your living room with a disco ball or other fun string lights, turn on some good tunes, and have a dance party. You can even choose to record yourselves and share your dance party with others on Youtube.

Play Classic Outdoor Games

Chances are over the years your kids have begged you to play certain games like hide-and-seek or kickball. Now is the time to embrace these requests and head outside for some family fun. There is also tag, jump rope, dodgeball, and kick the can.

A Timed Scavenger Hunt

This game will get everyone moving to get some aerobic exercise. Take turns and split the family up into 2 teams. Team A will start by hiding objects around the house or yard. Then team B has 10 minutes to find them all. This means they’ve got to really RUN around looking for all of them. Then swap so Team B hides items and team A has to find them. The team that finds the most items wins and doesn’t have to do the dishes that week.

Go for a Family Walk

Walking is such a great form of exercise and an equally great way for families to connect. Try and build walking into your daily schedule. Maybe after dinner take everyone out for a walk around the neighborhood. If you have dogs, take them, too!

 

These are just a few ideas you can try with your own family. Get creative to come up with some ideas of your own. While Covid has definitely made our lives more stressful and challenging, the silver lining is that it has helped many of us reconnect with our families. Take this time to do the same and stay fit at the same time.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: Sports / Exercise

How Counseling Can Help You Reach Your Goals in the New Year

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If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to stick to goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to depression.

That’s because reaching goals is empowering and helps us feel we are in charge of our life. When we don’t reach goals, we feel powerless and even hopeless that our lives can change for the better!

How Counseling Can Help

Just as you must follow a recipe to the proverbial “T” to end up with something edible, there is a formula that must be followed to the “T” to set reachable goals. This formula is often used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals set and reach goals that will help them change behaviors and better their lives.

Goal setting has actually been shown to be a useful tool for those suffering from depression according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE. The study found that individuals suffering from depression had more trouble setting goals and were far less likely to believe they could reach them.

The study found that those who were depressed had more difficulties setting goals and they were also less likely to believe they would achieve those goals. The participants also tended to set avoidance goals rather than approach goals.

An avoidance goal is one you set to avoid a negative outcome. “I want to lose weight so I don’t develop type 2 diabetes.” An approach goal, on the other hand, is one that you set to ensure a positive outcome. “I want to lose weight to have more energy!”

The study shows that counseling can help people with depression set and achieve realistic and achievable goals as well as help them stay on track mentally in pursuit of that goal.

The goal-setting formula used by most CBT therapists is as follows:

  • Identify your goal.
  • Choose a starting point.
  • Identify the steps required to achieve the goal.
  • Take that first step and get started.

A therapist can help you with each one of these steps. From ensuring you select realistic goals that are approach goals, to helping you identify where you are in relation to your goal, breaking down the goal into smaller, actionable steps, and helping you take that very first one, a counselor or coach will be in your corner, helping you every step of the way.

Make 2021 the year you reach those goals that will help you live your best life. If you’d like some help getting there, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General

Is Social Media Bad for Your Mental Health?

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Have you been feeling a bit low lately, but you can’t quite put your finger on why? It may have something to do with your social media habits. According to a recent study, social media use can increase depression and loneliness.

For years people have suspected that social media use might have an ability to negatively impact our mental well-being. After all, it’s hard not to feel inadequate or jealous when looking at photos of people whose lives seem so much more perfect than ours. But now research is actually making a definitive link between spending time on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and a sense of loneliness and isolation.

It May be Time for a Social Media Detox

I encourage my clients to take a social media detox every now and then to gain a more positive sense of reality. They often report back to me that the detox offered some amazing and unexpected benefits such as:

Improved Self-Esteem

When you take a break from comparing yourself to other people, you can start to look at how great you and your own life really are.

New Interests and Hobbies

When you spend less time trying to get that social approval in the form of ‘likes’, ‘retweets’, and ‘upvotes’, you suddenly find you have a lot of time on your hands for other things.

Improves Your Mood

Trading in online friendships for real face-to-face ones makes us feel more grounded and connected to people. This can drastically improve our mood and sense of well-being.

Better Sleep 

Many people are on their mobile phone in bed, checking their social media accounts. The blue light from these devices disrupts our sleep pattern. When we put these devices away, we inevitably sleep better.

Able to Enjoy the Moment More

I am a big proponent of daily mindfulness. By being present in our lives, we feel an increased sense of peace and joy. That’s priceless.

So how do you perform a social media detox?

Follow these 4 steps:

  1. Temporarily deactivate your accounts. Don’t worry, you can reactivate them again in the future should you choose.
  2. Remove all Social Media Apps and notification pathways from your devices.
  3. Use a web filtering tool to block social media sites. (Why tempt yourself?)
  4. Be prepared for some withdrawal symptoms and have other activities ready to replace the void.

If you follow these steps and take a break from social media, chances are you will find you feel a whole lot better!

Filed Under: Addiction, Adolescents/Teens, Depression

How to Cope with the Stress and Anxiety Caused by COVID-19

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If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge.

Signs of Emotional Distress and 6 Ways to Cope

Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, but most will exhibit some of the following signs:

  • Changes in sleep or eating patterns
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Worsening of chronic health problems
  • Increased use of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs

If you are experiencing significant stress right now, here are some ways you can cope:

1. Limit Media Consumption

Hearing the media constantly spread panic isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to stay rational and do your own research to uncover facts from fiction as well as stay positive.

2. Nurture Your Body and Spirit

Be sure to get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk. Eat right and make sure to stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. Avoid consuming too much alcohol and try and find fun ways to reconnect with your family.

3. Tap into Your Sense of Fun

If you have kids, look to them for some good old-fashioned playtime. Play hide and seek in the house. Create an obstacle course in the back yard. Watch some of your favorite funny movies. Laughter really is the best medicine so get plenty of it!

4. Support Your Local Community

Many local businesses are hurting right now. If you’re still getting a paycheck, consider buying a gift card from a local restaurant, gym, hair salon, etc. to give them revenue now and you can use the card later. This will make you feel great at the same time.

5. Be a Role Model

Remember, your kids will ALWAYS look to you first to see how they should be thinking and feeling about something. So move about each day calmly and confidently and reassure your kids everything will be okay because it will be.

6. Use Your Time Constructively

For many of us, there is a silver lining in this situation in the form of extra time. What can you do with the extra time that isn’t being used to drive an hour or more each day in commuting? Focus on using this time wisely. Maybe you have an ever-growing list of home projects that you just never have time to tackle. Tackle them now, you’ll feel great about it later.

 

If you find yourself becoming too stressed or depressed during this time, I encourage you to connect with me. Speaking with a therapist can help you cope with the situation and navigate the days ahead. I am currently able to conduct sessions over the phone or via Skype, so you won’t even have to leave your home if your state is in lockdown.

SOURCES:

https://www.ucihealth.org/news/2020/03/covid-19-anxiety

https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/ep/behavioral/stress_covid19.pdf

Filed Under: Anxiety, General

Could Your Family Benefit from Family Counseling?

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Does your family love and support one another unconditionally? Do you have fun together? Do you find talking with your spouse and children is easy and effective?

If you had to really pause and think about your answers to these questions, there’s a chance your family may not be as cohesive as you once thought or hoped. And that’s okay, not every family acts like something out of a 1950s television sitcom. Most have their own fair share of problems.

If you’ve never considered working with a therapist before, here are some benefits of family therapy:

Improved Communication

There aren’t many families out there that have flawless communication skills. It’s actually far more common for family members to feel that they can’t open up to one another. This of course leads to a disconnect between spouses or parents and children.

A family therapist can facilitate effective and respectful communication between your family members.

You’ll Understand Your Kids Better

Do you find yourself going slightly insane in an attempt to understand why your one child lies so much? Are you scratching your head as to why your other child is constantly hitting your first child?

We all think because our kids are made from our DNA that we’ll have some magical insights into why they do what they do. Nope. The truth is, most parents are in a constant state of stupefaction over their child’s behavior.

Family therapy will help your child feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings, giving you many A-ha moments.

Help Your Kids with Self-Esteem Issues

Healthy self-esteem is the foundation for a successful life. But unfortunately, many kids grow up feeling less than confident or good about themselves. A child with self-esteem issues may be the product of a parent with self-esteem issues.

The great news is, a family therapist can help both children and their parents build up their self-esteem to become happier individuals and, a happier family.

Help You Deal with Grief

Whether it’s a divorce or the loss of a loved one, most families are ill-equipped to handle loss, especially sudden loss. A family therapist can guide each one of your family members through the stages of grief so they can heal.

If you’re interested in exploring treatment options, please get I touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

SOURCES:

Filed Under: General, Parenting

5 Exercises & Tips to Lower Your Anxiety Before a Big Exam

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For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience.

As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to take an exam. The bigger and more important the exam is, the more we tend to suffer from anxiety, and the less likely we are to do our best.

If this scenario sounds all too familiar to you, then use the following tips and exercises to help lower your anxiety before the next big exam you take:

1. Breathe Deeply

When we feel fear, our body can go into an adrenaline-fueled panic mode. This chemical and physical reaction is how our ancestors survived numerous threats. But in this state, our minds do not function properly. In fact, they often go completely blank.

When we take slow, deep breaths, we help our bodies go from the survival response to a relaxed response. This helps the blood flow back into our brain and helps us focus on the task at hand.

2. Change Your Perspective

Most of us think of tests as something designed specifically to trick us. The truth is, if you have studied and are totally prepared, then the test is actually an opportunity for you to show off how much you know.

The other truth is your professors WANT you to pass. When you pass, they look good. So stop going into the exam with a negative attitude and go in feeling confident and knowing your teachers want you to do well.

3. Start Strong

To set the right tone for the test, scan it to find those questions you are 100% sure about and answer those first. This will help you feel confident and put your mind into a free-flow thinking state.

4. Be Realistic

What is your history of taking exams? Have you generally done well in the past? Are you a good student that makes an effort? If so, remind yourself of these facts. It’s easy to have dramatic and unrealistic ideas floating around in your head right before an exam. Thoughts like, “I’m gonna fail and then I won’t pass the class and I won’t get my degree and will end up working at Starbucks the rest of my life if I’m lucky.”

This likely won’t happen so don’t make an already stressful situation worse by being unrealistic.

5. Exercise

Exercise the morning before your exam. This will not only release built-up tension in your muscles (make sure to stretch after your workout), but it will also release “feel-good” endorphins that will put you in a better frame of mind.

 

If you would like some extra help handling the stressors of academic life, please reach out to me today to schedule an appointment.

 

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201502/test-anxiety-quick-tips

20 Effective Ways to Calm Your Nerves Before an Exam

Filed Under: Anxiety, School & Academics

5 Exercises & Tips to Lower Your Anxiety Before a Big Exam

by

For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience.

As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to take an exam. The bigger and more important the exam is, the more we tend to suffer from anxiety, and the less likely we are to do our best.

If this scenario sounds all too familiar to you, then use the following tips and exercises to help lower your anxiety before the next big exam you take:

1. Breathe Deeply

When we feel fear, our body can go into an adrenaline-fueled panic mode. This chemical and physical reaction is how our ancestors survived numerous threats. But in this state, our minds do not function properly. In fact, they often go completely blank.

When we take slow, deep breaths, we help our bodies go from the survival response to a relaxed response. This helps the blood flow back into our brain and helps us focus on the task at hand.

2. Change Your Perspective

Most of us think of tests as something designed specifically to trick us. The truth is, if you have studied and are totally prepared, then the test is actually an opportunity for you to show off how much you know.

The other truth is your professors WANT you to pass. When you pass, they look good. So stop going into the exam with a negative attitude and go in feeling confident and knowing your teachers want you to do well.

3. Start Strong

To set the right tone for the test, scan it to find those questions you are 100% sure about and answer those first. This will help you feel confident and put your mind into a free-flow thinking state.

4. Be Realistic

What is your history of taking exams? Have you generally done well in the past? Are you a good student that makes an effort? If so, remind yourself of these facts. It’s easy to have dramatic and unrealistic ideas floating around in your head right before an exam. Thoughts like, “I’m gonna fail and then I won’t pass the class and I won’t get my degree and will end up working at Starbucks the rest of my life if I’m lucky.”

This likely won’t happen so don’t make an already stressful situation worse by being unrealistic.

5. Exercise

Exercise the morning before your exam. This will not only release built-up tension in your muscles (make sure to stretch after your workout), but it will also release “feel-good” endorphins that will put you in a better frame of mind.

 

If you would like some extra help handling the stressors of academic life, please reach out to me today to schedule an appointment.

 

Sources:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201502/test-anxiety-quick-tips

https://www.onlineschoolscenter.com/20-effective-ways-to-calm-your-nerves-before-an-exam/

Filed Under: Anxiety, School & Academics

How to Come Out as an LGBTQA Adult

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Most of us had a childhood filled with both subtle and overt lessons of how people and things “should” be. Our family, culture, and society expect us to fit into a certain mold and behave a certain way. Because of the type of upbringing that many people experience, it can be very difficult for people in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and asexual (LGBTQA) community to come out to family and friends, and to live openly as who they are.

What Does It Mean to “Come Out”?

For LGBTQA people, to “come out” is to acknowledge and let others know about their sexual or gender identity. There is no wrong way or time to come out; how, when, or if you do so is uniquely personal to you. To not come out means you’re withholding who you are from people you know and may care about, and you may have to lie and pretend. For some people, it’s less stressful to hide than to be open. Don’t feel pressure to come out; you are the only one who can decide what is the best life for you.

Coming Out as an Adult

Coming out later in life poses some unique challenges. By adulthood, many people are already established in their career and may even be married and have children. Family, friends, and co-workers see you in a certain way, and may be shaken when they realize that you are not the person they thought they knew. Not everyone you come out to will be accepting, and some relationships may permanently change.

However, if you’re ready to come out, it means you don’t want to hide anymore and are ready to enrich your life with authenticity. This will inherently bring many benefits to you and your relationships such as reduced stress from hiding your identity, increase your self-esteem by being known and loved for who you truly are, and developing richer and more genuine relationships.

What to Say

You may want to start by writing out what you want to say so you can organize your thoughts and feelings. Some people prefer to tell their loved ones face to face, while others would rather send an email or make a phone call. Whatever way you choose, be sure to come out at a time when you’re not angry or arguing with someone. Also keep in mind that if you receive a negative or less than accepting response, this is just their initial reaction; they may need additional time to process what you’ve shared with them.

Coming out is never easy. It may be difficult and awkward at first, but it will ultimately bring you joy and free you from the burden of hiding an integral part of you who are.

If you’re looking for support and guidance on coming out as an LGBTQA adult, a licensed mental health professional can help. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.

Filed Under: LGBTQ

What Determines Gender Identity and How Can Parents Help?

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What makes someone feel they have been born into the wrong body? Gender identity is a prominent topic these days thanks to the transgender movement, yet many people are still uncertain about what causes this issue.

What is it, exactly, that determines whether an individual thinks of themselves as “male” or “female” or something else or neither of these two options? It seems that a possible answer to this question lies in the structure of our brains.

A considerable number of gender differences in the brain have been described and many are housed in the parts of the brain concerned with sexuality. For instance, an area of the brain that has to do with sexuality is larger in males than females and smaller in male-to-female transgender brains.

There are also reports of chemical differences in male and female brains, though there is still confusion as to how these differences, as well as size difference, relate to gender. Studies have also suggested that connections between brain areas may differ between genders, yet scientists struggle to interpret these findings in a meaningful way.

So, while we are a little closer to understanding this complex topic and understanding what exactly causes someone to identify with a different gender, there is still confusion and much to learn.

How Can Parents Help Their Transgender Child?

When a young person develops a physical disease or ailment, tests can be ordered, a diagnosis given and a treatment plan put into motion. When a young person identifies as a different gender, all of the answers don’t fall into place, and there isn’t one “correct” way to handle the situation.

So how can parents ensure they support their transgender child as they face an uncertain future and possible rejection and isolation?

Accept Their Identity

To be rejected by their parents can be profoundly damaging to a child. Most young people that come out as trans have thought a lot about their feelings and experiences before telling anyone. Their identity should not be treated as a passing phase or something “awful” they will grow out of.

So, believe your child about their status as trans and accept them.

Follow Their Lead

Transgender people are individuals. Not all will wear the same type of clothing. Not all will want to make the full transition. Don’t assume what your child’s journey will or should look like. Let them lead and you follow and support them.

Don’t Misgender or “Dead-Name” Your Child

Undoubtedly it will be hard to say goodbye to the child you gave birth to and have known for so long. But it will be important that you show love and respect to your child by referring to them as the right gender and by the name they now choose to go by, if you slip up, simply apologize. But don’t intentionally misgender or dead-name them.

You may find it very helpful to speak with a therapist during this time. He or she can help facilitate good communication between you and your child as well as help you navigate these new waters.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201706/parents-guide-the-gender-revolution

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hormones-and-the-brain/201608/gender-identity-is-in-the-brain-what-does-tell-us

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-your-adult-child-breaks-your-heart/201703/strategies-supporting-transgender-child

Filed Under: Adolescents/Teens, Children, LGBTQ, Parenting